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It would be wildly unfair of me to review the MIUT (Madeira Island Ultra Trail) as I didn’t finish, nor did I get close to finishing and I’d decided I wasn’t going to write anything about my experience until I realised that I want you to understand how amazing an experience this race is and if you want something mind bogglingly tough then you have to do this.

Pre-race
I’d been worried, very worried about all sorts of things like the elevation, the length of time, temperature, etc and upon flying into Madeira my fears proved worthy as I looked at the climb out of the capital city never mind the real mountains! To say I nearly shat myself is an understatement.


My experience
I lined up in Porto Moniz with 750(ish) other runners and when the start came I jostled my way forward a little to look out at the upcoming trail storm. What I was greeted by was the most amazing race I’ve done so far.

From the off set we were climbing, weaving our way out of the town and uphill as quickly as possible. I unfurled my poles within the first kilometre as the realisation of what I was running finally hit me.

The first 1,000 metre climb seemed to be filled with steps and I chose small speedy steps to try and put some distance between me and the cut-off. We reached the real trails within a couple of kilometres and here the runners slowed as the climbing got sharper but I pressed on in what I considered an impressive time and when I reached the top I felt amazing. I stepped briefly to one side to grab some video footage and photographs and listened to the soon to be deafening noise in the distance.


What the hell was it? The answer to that was simple, it was the first of the many small villages and this one happened to be using the acoustics of the valley they lived in to draw the runners to them.


Like all the runners before me I was exhilarated by the welcome and bounded through the town, chest puffed out and a faster than was recommended run through the the throngs of people. From here it was all uphill again and it was a long slow slog through trails I was glad I couldn’t see clearly as it was obvious that I was facing sheer drops as the altitude grew ever higher.

It was somewhere here in the darkness that I had the first of my three falls – stumbling on some rocks that slipped out from beneath my feet and I cracked down on my left hand side, not too hard but enough to shake me. I stopped briefly and checked for blood but I was okay and so proceeded to the top of the ascent before I kicked on towards the 15km marker and the first of the many potential time out zones.


Arriving into check I had 30 minutes spare but it was clear this one was going to be tight all the way round and so I flew out of check with all the speed I could muster.

There’s no doubt that my failure at MIUT was down to the first 30km which brutalised me in ways that I’ve never had before and if I had decided on the shorter 80km distance I’m convinced I would have finished but from the second checkpoint to the third was a tribute to ascending hell and all I could do was hold on and hope that I could pick up the pace later in the race – if there was to be a later in the race!

Reaching summit after summit I realised I was likely to fail in my latest venture and even though before I’d started out that this was unlikely to end up in a finish I didn’t want to go out like this – weeping pitifully.

And then I caught a break – descent.

While my uphills are a bit rubbish I’m actually pretty good on the down. I can run fast and controlled across difficult and technical terrain and even as MIUT called for sometimes (down steps). I was able to take these hard descents faster than those in front of me and therefore I was catching people up – 20 or 30 were caught in about 5 or 6km and I pressed harder and harder through the night. As checkpoints fell I could see many people retiring and this was inspiring me to keep going.

Therefore, while descent was an option I knew I had to go ‘balls out’ if I was stand any chance of making it into respectable distances. And as I drew into the next ascents I pressed myself until I saw the first chinks of light in the day – I’d made it through the night.

So, in some fresh, fast moving water I washed the sweat and the fear away, sun creamed up I pushed on through the early morning light. I was still laughing and joking and soaking up all the views I could. Maybe just maybe I stood a chance…

But perhaps I was soaking in too many views as I found myself caught by a low hanging branch in the face which took my feet out from beneath me. Ouch.

Landing hard on my already tender back I needed a few minutes sit down to clean myself up and check myself over. Blood around my ankle and also in my hair suggested I’d been cut but thankfully not badly and a bit of spit and polish I was fine to resume my endeavours.


The ascent to Encumeada was tough though and as the morning warmed up I began feeling the day kicking me in the guts. I was unable to eat anything other than lemon and orange slices accompanied by large volumes of Pepsi offering recovery in the checkpoints.

The water from my soft bottle tasted unpleasant and was making me feel sick and stomach issues forced a stop to take the bear like option for a poo in the woods and had it been discovered most would have considered this a big, rather sickly bear.

Returning to my ascent I was feeling tired but had managed to mostly retain the gains in position I’d made into the next checkpoint where warm food and tired runners were in abundance. I needed neither and simply filled my water and drank lots of Pepsi before setting out – the words of a fellow runner ringing in my ears ‘this is the hardest section’.

On paper, this statement seemed absurd as it looked much easier than that which had come before but in practice this for me was the most brutal of the sections.

Within a kilometre I sat down on the side of the trail, poles beside me, wanting to give up. A lady plonked herself behind me – presumably considering a rest stop a good idea and we chatted – I complimented her in the excellent choice of ‘loud leggings’ and we overcame the language barrier as her English was pretty good and I was grateful for the natter. We set off together, climbing the length of the gas pipe that snaked across the trail and into the hills once more. I let the young lady go on ahead, telling her she had more in her legs than me – which was true. I then continued at a slow and steady pace but as I ambled up the hills I took my worst tumble. Misjudging a small leap across some rocks, I slipped, face first into those rocks. I slumped, staring into the abyss below me – realising I really wasn’t very far from oblivion.

Minutes passed before I collected myself together, my legs like jelly from a combination of the race and my fall and the heat of the day was now taking its toll.


Despite still mostly running I knew my race was coming to an end – I simply couldn’t go fast enough and my fall had shaken my already shattered confidence.

Shortly after though I met another runner, a Scottish gentleman who gave me enough of a boost and a focus to press on a little while longer but at the top of the ascent I made the inevitable call to the GingaNinja. I knew that I would miss the cut-off, and so it proved – but only by a couple of minutes but that was enough.

I was well beaten.

I stood in the checkpoint with other deflated runners and drank from the litre bottle of Pepsi – swigging it back like it was White Lightning. I’d run my heart out for this one, I’d left nothing inside but I’d come up short.


What did I learn?
I was listening to John Kelly talk about his Barkley Marathons prep in the aftermath of this race and his words resonated deeply with me, especially when he said ‘do things that you’ll fail at, go and get lost…’ This is the journey I’m on now, learning how to succeed and also how to fail.

Importantly I learned that I need to get faster in the climbs because this is why I was timed out. I’m actually pretty fast on the flat and the downhills where I can hold my own against good runners but my ascending is pretty shocking and so I’m going to be working on this with lots of hiking and hill repeats.

I’m very keen to learn from this experience. I’m determined I am going to use it to get stronger and better at these tougher races. If I commit to do more of them, more of this type of training and if I run in locations like Madeira more regularly I will start finishing these races and hopefully run more competitive times, well improved times.

MIUT was the hardest and most brutal event I’ve ever taken part in – whereas I have no doubt that I failed Haria Extreme and UTBCN because of external, non-race related factors I have even less doubt that my failure to finish MIUT was simply because it is beyond my current experience and capabilities.

Any regrets?
Two – the first was my decision to wear the Ultimate Direction PB3.0, a brilliant race pack that simply doesn’t suit me. It’s caused me a huge amount of pain in my back at both the UTBCN and MIUT, sadly I think this will be being consigned to 30 mile ultra pile. The pain I experienced certainly influenced the outcome of this race but not enough to have stopped my time out – this would have been my end result anyway just perhaps a few miles further down the road.

The other thing I regret was family attendance. I believe taking family to these races is a distraction, you’re focused on neither them nor the race 100% and so as a consequence neither get the best from you. And that’s not fair on either them or the race. Therefore, I’m unlikely to take them to Lyon for my year ending race and while I might consider shorter distance races if they’re going to be joining me in the future I wouldn’t take them to the bigger brutes I’ve been attempting recently – I believe this will increase everyone’s enjoyment of trips away and improve my overall performance at these races.

What’s next UltraBoy?
I’ve got a busy few weeks, off to the Marlborough Downs Challenge for a confidence boosting amble around Wiltshire, followed by a double effort at the Westminster Mile before chasing down about 70 miles at Escape from Meriden. However it will be another ball buster at the South Wales 100 that is currently making my arsehole quiver!


Any conclusion? Just one, go try MIUT for yourself.

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Kit comes and goes, some kit gets used for specific race types (my original Ultimate Direction PB vest for example is used for shorter distance – up to 40 mile races) and some kit might have been used for one specific race (such as the Harvey’s Map of the Isle of Skye) and then there’s the kit that just never got used because it served no useful purpose (ahem… Skins A200 tights).

However there are some pieces that no matter what race it is will always make the start line. Below is that list and I’m willing to bet some of these always make your kit list too.


1. Suunto Ambit 3 Peak My first GPS watch was the Garmin 410 with touch bevel – it was okay but it didn’t quite do what I wanted and ultimately I found the Garmin watches and software frustrating and therefore was soon looking for a replacement so when the Suunto came along I found a watch that provided me with things like directions (my saviour) and all the information I could shake a stick at.

Now despite not needing too, because my version 2 works just fine, I bought the Ambit 3 Peak (mainly for the elevation, distance from home and notification features). It’s fair to say the watch is awesome and does all that I ask of it and more! Even if I’m not tracking the GPS data, I feel bare without it on a race day which is strange given that I almost never use it during training but be assured this is the first piece of race day kit I prepare!

2. Drymax socks I spent a lot of time with lots of different types of socks, Injinji, Ashmei, Darn Tough, Hilly, New Balance, Inov8, etc. Some of them awesome, some of them a disappointment but since discovering DryMax socks my feet haven’t suffered half as much as they used to. The claim is that they stay warm when wet and dry swiftly. I can happily confirm this to be true. The only downside is the slightly thick weave but when combined with an Injinji sock liner the Drymax sock (for me) is near perfect.

I recall losing a pair roclite 286 in the mud somewhere and my feet sliding unceremonious through the thick wet mud – after retrieving my shoes I scraped off the thickest of it and put my shoes back on, my feet didn’t suffer at all.

Hard wearing, good value and excellent quality, my ultra sock choice hasn’t been in doubt since I first put my Drymax on.


3. GoPro I probably should leave the GoPro at home but after buying it to take to the Arctic Circle last year I’ve found it invaluable for capturing my running adventures, which subsequently aid me in telling the story of my adventures. The Sessions smaller form factor also helps in my decision to run with a camera because it generally doesn’t interfere with kit and if it ever did it would get left behind.


4. Dirty Girl Gaiters I remember my first two ultras, the White Cliffs 50′ and ‘The Wall’, thr only two ultra marathons that I haven’t used Dirty Girl Gaiters on and both battered my shoes, my feet and ankles. I’ve been seeking to resolve the feet issue ever since and one of the key components was the introduction of Dirty Girl Gaiters – a very simple over the ankle brightly coloured covering. 

It’s true to say they aren’t waterproof but I’ve never found them to leak even in Biblical weather, they aren’t made of the pubic hair of angels and held together by unicorn tears but they never breakdown and they are very good value for money. This gaiter keeps your feet safer, drier, clearer of crap and ultimately happier – perhaps the best £18 you’ll ever spend.


5. Buff What uses does a buff have?

  • Hat
  • Sunguard
  • Scarf
  • Makeshift balaclava
  • Snot rag
  • Bum rag 
  • Bandage
  • Cooling device (wrap ice in it)
  • Hair tie
  • Headband

Possibly the single most useful and used item in any runners kit, hot, cold, wet and dry, the Buff knows absolutely no limits and they never fail. Owning about 20 I’ve come to love these things and use them every single day as well as during races.


6. Anker Battery Charger I have a confession, despite being thoroughly pissed off with the iPhone I am still an iPhone user – this is mainly because the GingaNinja decided she would rather stick with Apple than try a different handset.

Anyway this means that my Anker Portable Power Charger runs with me. For shorter ultras I use the smaller device because this will happily top up my airport moded iPhone and also my Suunto or GoPro should I really need it.
I have a larger version of the same device for longer running but all this means is that I’m less concerned if I get caught taking too many snaps of the trails or selfies of me gurning my way round said trail. Portable power is a definite to go in my bag at races and although I often don’t use it I’d rather be carrying it than not.


7. Runderwear As regular readers will know my boy bits and my passing of various fluids is a topic I return to time and again. This is because it’s been something of a constant irritant to me and has affected more races than I can shake a stick at. Last year I had a series of unfortunate incidents where chaffing was a big problem and it coincided with the times that I wasn’t wearing my running gruds from Runderwear. 

What I missed was the soft supple cupping of the lovely fabric around my groin, the crotchal region soothed by the lack of excessive stitching and the excellent fit where your manliness holds itself in place – safely asleep away from the fury of ultra running.
I now never forget my Runderwear and my balls cry out in joy!

8. Kleenex For those who believe that this is just in case I get the urge mid race for a sly hand shandy you’d be wrong. Kleenex join almost every race, ultra or not and this is because I’ve been caught short on a couple of occasions (and it’s just plain nasty). As regular readers will know I had a very serious bowel related issue at the Mouth to Mouth Ultra Marathon in December last year (read about it here) and didn’t have any Kleenex with me. This was a major regret as I ran 5km trying to keep things together and decide which buff I would use as a makeshift toilet roll, thankfully neither buff was sacrificed but the resolution remains a secret and I’ve vowed to always remember to check my tissue status pre-race. 


9. Compeed 
40 miles into the Skye Trail Ultra a blister on my fourth toe exploded. Bang. Had it not been for the Compeed second skin solution my race would have been over there and then. Thankfully I stopped straight away, cleaned and dried my foot and then applied a second skin barrier across and around the affected area. Without hesitation I put my foot to the floor and knew that the compeed would hold me together and it did.

In all the races I’ve done this is the only piece of kit from my medical equipment I’ve ever had to use and it is a worthwhile expense.

10. Spare laces I’m not very superstitious but I carry s spare set of laces (from an old pair of Hoka Stinsons) because the one way I would hate to receive a DNF is because my shoes failed after a lace snap. Although I’ve never had to use them I did give a new lace to a runner once who encountered the problem and would have had to stop – she was very grateful (and showed this by thundering past me a mile or three further on).


What have I discovered? 
Well that’s simple, the thing I’ve discovered is that your ‘go to kit’ is very rarely what you believe it to be. Let’s be honest we tailor race vests, shoes, tops, shorts, even headlamps to the race distance and conditions and that means that the kit that always makes the start line is often the less glamorous but much more useful stuff, well I’ve certainly found this to be the case.

I wonder what always makes the start line with you?

Happy running.

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When you look back over the year can you come up with a list of say your best best or craziest moments in running/racing/eventing from 2016? I had a list of about a thousand that would make my favourite or most insane moments but I narrowed it down to this … so here are my ten most memorable running moments of 2016.

Look forward to reading yours.

  • (10) Reaching the summit of Lomo Cumplido (despite my huge fear of heights) and realising that running big scary hills and scary races is what I really want to do.
  • (9) Being hit by a car less than a week before the Green Man Ultra, surviving and then rocking up to the start line and finishing.
  • (8) Watching the GingaNinja return to open water swim racing and loving it.
  • (7) Seeing and joining UltraBaby on the Chislehurst Chase 2k and witnessing her doing the whole distance under her own steam. A very proud parenting moment.
  • (6) Meeting the genuinely warm and wonderful Elaine at The Green Man Ultra and sticking together for 15 cold and tough miles.
  • (5) Having a little cry as I saw the genuine joy (of achievement) erupt between the Wonky Wanderer and her mum at the finish line of Country to Capital.
  • (4) Running through the deepest snowy trails in Finland and ending up to my neck in snow with only myself to rescue me.
  • (3) Having completed the Skye Trail Ultra, dragging myself on my poles the 5 miles to the Isle of Skye airfield, fording a river and jumping the barriers, despite my ruined feet all so I could shout ‘Gordons Alive!’ at the top of my voice pretending I’m Brian Blessed.
  • (2) Buggy running in the Arctic Circle with UltraBaby.
  • (1) Dying a death towards the end of the ridge at the Skye Trail Ultra, puking out of my mouth and my arse but then picking myself up and finishing the final 50 miles!

Happy running!

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